I’m feeling a little off-balance lately, both in my spiritual practice and in my everyday life. Things seem to be right on the edge of teetering out of control, which usually means it’s time for me to really step back and get things back in order. The struggles I’m having with my meditation practice are a pretty good indicator that I’m generally lacking focus as well – which isn’t a surprise, though I hadn’t really thought of using that as a metric before.
I’ve added in a lot of new things to my life in the last few months, and I think I need to do some evaluating of what I want to keep and what I want to let go. Not that I have a really good way of doing that, since I don’t want to overstructure things either.
Basically I’m trying to find the balance between the things that I need to do (cook/eat, work, exercise, sleep) and the things that I want to do (read, play games, do crafts) and figuring out where Druidry fits into that picture. I think it’ll end up somewhere between the two – it’s not a need the same way eating is, but it ranks higher up than knitting. At least in my mind that’s how it should work.
Fortunately it’s easy to build little bits of Druidry into daily life, like my morning devotions in the parking garage, or lighting candles on my “hearth” in the evenings. I need to keep THOSE things in mind (along with blogging!) and let go of some of the bigger desires for lots of ritual and dramatic experiences. I’m kind of a ritual junkie, and I should throw that energy at planning for Imbolc (which I’ve done very little of) instead of dreaming up new rituals and things to work on all the time. I don’t have a lot of time before the Holy Day (next Friday!) so I really do need to find a little focus to work out a ritual script.
Hopefully with a little conscious thought and planning, I can get things back into harmony again. I want my Druidry to integrate rather seamlessly into the rest of my life, and hopefully I can get to that point.