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Posts Tagged ‘balance’

I’ve not been so good about two parts of my practice recently – both blogging and my meditation time have suffered as my commitments in life have ramped up. Those two things are related, since they both represent time I spend in thought and contemplation about my path (or just about my breath), and I’ve not been doing a lot of that recently. Quite frankly, I think it’s time to swing back that direction. My meditation practice is directly tied in with my daily offerings, so you can imagine that those have been less as well, and frequently have been getting skipped.

I’m not sure exactly where the balance is, but I know right now I’m not on it. I have some health issues going on that are taking up more time than usual, and that means rebalancing my time to make sure I’m making time to do the things I need to do. I’ve also had some personal issues getting in the way of my devotional practice. They’re intensely personal, so I’m not sure I will talk about them much here, but suffice to say it’s been very difficult to maintain a devotional practice with regards to Ingvi Frey lately. I am hoping to get some guidance on that front, but it’s been challenging. I’m hoping that with a bit of guidance I can find a way to do those devotions in a way that is also protective of and safe for me mentally.

My ancestor devotions are about where they were – I’m definitely going through a lot more candles in the kitchen on my hearth lately!

As well, the two books I ordered on Anglo-Saxon paganism have come in, so I am anxious to get started reading them. I think it’ll be good to read something more scholarly after having immersed myself in fiction with the Iron Druid Chronicles. Those were fun – and spiritually interesting – but as with all things, balance is good.

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I’m feeling a little off-balance lately, both in my spiritual practice and in my everyday life. Things seem to be right on the edge of teetering out of control, which usually means it’s time for me to really step back and get things back in order. The struggles I’m having with my meditation practice are a pretty good indicator that I’m generally lacking focus as well – which isn’t a surprise, though I hadn’t really thought of using that as a metric before.

I’ve added in a lot of new things to my life in the last few months, and I think I need to do some evaluating of what I want to keep and what I want to let go. Not that I have a really good way of doing that, since I don’t want to overstructure things either.

Basically I’m trying to find the balance between the things that I need to do (cook/eat, work, exercise, sleep) and the things that I want to do (read, play games, do crafts) and figuring out where Druidry fits into that picture. I think it’ll end up somewhere between the two – it’s not a need the same way eating is, but it ranks higher up than knitting. At least in my mind that’s how it should work.

Fortunately it’s easy to build little bits of Druidry into daily life, like my morning devotions in the parking garage, or lighting candles on my “hearth” in the evenings. I need to keep THOSE things in mind (along with blogging!) and let go of some of the bigger desires for lots of ritual and dramatic experiences. I’m kind of a ritual junkie, and I should throw that energy at planning for Imbolc (which I’ve done very little of) instead of dreaming up new rituals and things to work on all the time. I don’t have a lot of time before the Holy Day (next Friday!) so I really do need to find a little focus to work out a ritual script.

Hopefully with a little conscious thought and planning, I can get things back into harmony again. I want my Druidry to integrate rather seamlessly into the rest of my life, and hopefully I can get to that point.

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