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Posts Tagged ‘barking moonbat’

>> In which the Druid in the Swamp reveals that she is, in fact, a complete barking moonbat. Enjoy. <<

Breathe in, Breathe out.

Breathe in, Breathe out.

I am breathing in a long, slow in-breath. I am breathing out a smooth, calm out-breath.

Breathe in, Breathe out.

You’re still thinking about breathing.

Breathe in, Breathe out.

Find the stillness. Think about trees. Remember the mental grove? Big tree. Oak tree, loooooong limbs that stretch out all around, breathe into the limbs, breathe into your toes and grow roots, breathe in, breathe out. Be inside the tree, reach out to the water and the sky, breathe in, breathe out.

Still thinking.

Breathe in, breathe out.

That’s better.

Stop thinking about better. Just breathe, dammit.

Breathe in, breathe out.

Hi.

!

Uh.  Hi? Hi! What am I supposed to say now? Who are you?

You know who I am.

Really? Ok, well I figured I was still guessing. I’ll guess that’s right for now, or at least stick with it.

… now what am I supposed to say? Oh great… thing… god? You ARE a god, right?

<laughter>

So I’m supposed to be talking to you. I guess this is like praying, right? I introduce myself and say hi and then tell you all about… what? My desk job? How boring am I, really. I’m glad you liked the cedar incense though. Do you like the pine as well?

<pause>

I like the pine AND the cedar. Maybe I’ll burn both together?

<pause>

Ok, mental note to buy more cedar incense. Um. Now what do I say? Do you… uh… do you like tea?

<laughter> Yes, I like tea. And honey and mead, but you knew that already.

I did? Oh. I guess I did, yeah. Ok, so honey with your tea. What about cider?

<pause> Mead is better.

Ok, Mead. Though you won’t mind if I drink the cider myself right? And maybe share some?

Of course that is fine.

If I can find some, I’ll bring you some raspberry mead. I don’t know where it came from, but it’s amazing. I guess I get to learn about meads now, too. Hey I have tea every morning, maybe I can … um … say something when I drink it? If you don’t hate my office building? Which would be OK, I kind of hate my office building.

<laughter> Just good morning is a start.

I can do that.

>>To be continued (maybe) <<

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