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Posts Tagged ‘thoughts’

A challenging week, but a good one for meditation and prayer. I spent a lot of time at my altar this week, lighting candles and incense. It was trying, especially being so far away from things that are happening, and having no real recourse but to watch and wait (in horror).

As much as I appreciate our ability to know so much about the world we live in, I’m still not sure that 24-hour instant by instant news is really good for us as humans. We’re not wired to experience that kind of anxiety and stress, especially about things we have no ability to impact. It’s certainly not good for my sanity, even with the extra grounding and prayer.

I also had a pretty substantial conversation with a friend this week about the DP, and it was challenging in a good way. Not challenging as in “hard”, but challenging as in “made me think”. Especially about where I’m going and what I intend to do as I travel this Druid path. I think I will probably be re-incorporating some elements of witchcraft back into my path eventually, since there are things I really miss that don’t conflict with ADF and that I think are good skills for me to continue to have as a magic worker.

I still have this lingering feeling that I don’t know really where I’m headed, and that’s a bit unnerving. I certainly have the goal to complete the DP – but I don’t really know if that goal is in order to truly transform myself into a practicing Druid (which I’d argue I probably already am), or just as something I’m doing to learn as much as I can from and then move on to something else. My friend (hi Yngvi!) argues that this is an element of the virtue of Vision, and I can’t say I disagree with him. It’s a question both of “what path am I actually on right now” and “where do I want to be going”? I may revisit that essay as I work on this, but the answer to both questions right now is “I don’t know”.

Maybe I need to focus my meditations on THAT this week, now that crisis management mode is dwindling down.

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>> In which the Druid in the Swamp reveals that she is, in fact, a complete barking moonbat. Enjoy. <<

Breathe in, Breathe out.

Breathe in, Breathe out.

I am breathing in a long, slow in-breath. I am breathing out a smooth, calm out-breath.

Breathe in, Breathe out.

You’re still thinking about breathing.

Breathe in, Breathe out.

Find the stillness. Think about trees. Remember the mental grove? Big tree. Oak tree, loooooong limbs that stretch out all around, breathe into the limbs, breathe into your toes and grow roots, breathe in, breathe out. Be inside the tree, reach out to the water and the sky, breathe in, breathe out.

Still thinking.

Breathe in, breathe out.

That’s better.

Stop thinking about better. Just breathe, dammit.

Breathe in, breathe out.

Hi.

!

Uh.  Hi? Hi! What am I supposed to say now? Who are you?

You know who I am.

Really? Ok, well I figured I was still guessing. I’ll guess that’s right for now, or at least stick with it.

… now what am I supposed to say? Oh great… thing… god? You ARE a god, right?

<laughter>

So I’m supposed to be talking to you. I guess this is like praying, right? I introduce myself and say hi and then tell you all about… what? My desk job? How boring am I, really. I’m glad you liked the cedar incense though. Do you like the pine as well?

<pause>

I like the pine AND the cedar. Maybe I’ll burn both together?

<pause>

Ok, mental note to buy more cedar incense. Um. Now what do I say? Do you… uh… do you like tea?

<laughter> Yes, I like tea. And honey and mead, but you knew that already.

I did? Oh. I guess I did, yeah. Ok, so honey with your tea. What about cider?

<pause> Mead is better.

Ok, Mead. Though you won’t mind if I drink the cider myself right? And maybe share some?

Of course that is fine.

If I can find some, I’ll bring you some raspberry mead. I don’t know where it came from, but it’s amazing. I guess I get to learn about meads now, too. Hey I have tea every morning, maybe I can … um … say something when I drink it? If you don’t hate my office building? Which would be OK, I kind of hate my office building.

<laughter> Just good morning is a start.

I can do that.

>>To be continued (maybe) <<

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